In my entire “womanly” adulthood, I think I’m safe to say that I never suffered from the dramatic mood swings. Depression, yes. Mood swings, not so much. And I think I finally know what they are.
After having been experiencing them, unbeknownst to me, for the past month or so … I just put my finger on them this morning.
There are alot of things that bother me. People, situations, my hair … any number of things on any given day and I can go from jolly lil’ pregnant person to steaming, inwardly plotting and hating, adrenaline pumping pregnant ‘watch out’.
These past few mornings I’ve noticed the difference after waking up. Some mornings I am just ready to go, get my list-o-things done and be able to relax with Aaron when he comes home. Other days I wake up still steaming over something that happened the day before, whether or not I knew it affected me then … I know it now.
And then I spend the ENTIRE morning having silent conversations in my head with the people involved or myself alone, depending on what happened. Or I conduct a play of what I think would have been a better solution to whatever it is that’s bothering me. And then I write about it – not here, but I put it in words.
I write the conversation down, or whatever the case may be; and then I continue to yell and scream all the words I want on this paper and I feel better.
Some of these conversations I do have to have in person, because well … they bother me that much. But most of the time I can get by with writing it out and no one is the wiser. Now, granted, I will be more willing to stand my ground and let whoever or whatever know what I’m thinking/feeling the next time something should happen because I’ve rehearsed the conversation and I know what I need /want to say. But until that happens, and hopefully it won’t, I feel better.
The key to the pregnant ladies mood swings, ATTENTION ALL HUSBANDS OR FRIENDS OF PREGNANT WOMEN, is ANYTHING TO WRITE ON OR RECORD IN.
Journal, laptop computer, scrap paper in the car, lots of pens all over the house and car and even in purse or pocket … and sometimes the occasional tape recording machine, because our fingers are fat and it’s easier to talk then to write.
I mentioned having pens around, everywhere, because so far in this house there are no pens anywhere, ever. And when we’re dealing with the hormonal pregnant me with a mood swing and I can’t a find a pen where a pen SHOULD BE, that just makes me swing my mood towards the pen. And lets face it here, the pen is my friend. He’s helping me get my pent up frustration out. There is no need to hate the messenger.