I’m growing a weed in my belly

I had a doctors appointment yesterday and found out that although I’m 33 1/2 weeks pregnant I’m measuring at 36 weeks – which could mean a number of things really. Like the baby is really stretched out, I like this theory because it would explain the constant need to stretch for breathing comfort.

Or it could mean we’re having a big baby – in the 8 to 8.5 lb range (God help me), it could mean I’m growing a weed instead of a baby – because holy cow it’s a growing maniac. It could mean, in theory, that I’ll deliver early. Hee hee … I like that theory.

But what it probably means, in reality is that I’m both growing a weed and it’s going to be in the 8 – 8.5 lb range. This, my friends, scares the living poop out of me. I was 7 lbs on the dot and if my memory serves me right Aaron was right arounf 7 lbs too – we weren’t big babies, or big kids. And now they’re telling me I have to push up to 8.5 lbs out of a lemon.

Thats right. I said lemon.

So inorder to keep my sanity I’m convincing myself that although I don’t get to pick the size of the baby, which, by the way, would be very helpful, God … if you let us pick SOMETHING about this birthing process; I get a healthy baby, which is far more important than the size. Size Does Not Matter.

Everything else looks normal and wonderful – I have one more 2 week appointment and then I start seeing the doctor every week. SO EXCITING!

Although I have some angst about that as well – because at the weekly appointments they do an exam to see how things are progressing – and we all know how my body functions in stir-ups – and to be honest I’ve got more gas now than I’ve ever had – this baby thing really squishes everything, I mean EVERYTHING inside of you – and there’s no controlling the output. I’m sorry.

I hope, I really do hope that I won’t have to write another post about farting in my doctors face, although I seem to be famous for it – I’ll probably go down in history as the girl who farted in her doctors face and then WROTE ABOUT IT ON THE INTERNET! But, if we’re being honest, and we are – I might have to fess up to more bodily functions gone wrong.

Watch out internet, Jodi’s having a baby.

2 thoughts on “I’m growing a weed in my belly

  1. Did you see the google ads on the side?
    “Goat weed made fresh”
    “Weed Banks”
    Google revelant ads put another level of humor to your posts! I wonder when there are going to be google ads about farting!

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