To: Jessica Ranae, my sweet baby girl

Dear Jessica,
Today you are 4 months old. (Picture me with a poochy lip and sad eyes) My baby is 4 months old.
You have been such a joy this past month. There were those few weeks though that you threw sleeping through the night out the window, and those mornings, were not joy filled. But other than that, you have been so much fun.
You’ve started giggling which is absolutely precious and you respond to your name and our voices, it’s like you can understand what we’re saying. Your facial expressions are pricelss.
I spent the better part of the first three months of your life worrying about the binki and your love of it. I kept trying to take you off of it cold turkey and I about had a panic attack when you took it for the first time and liked it. I’ve learned to chill out about that. So you like the binki, atleast it’s not the kitchen knives that keep you happy.
And if it gets to be a problem in public, you know – the token toddler with a binki hanging out of her mouth while trying to talk/mumble to her parents, then we’ll re-evaluate the situation and I’ll have some serious sleepless nights while you rid yourself of the poiseness addiction to the latex fake nipple. But until then, and hopefully we don’t make it to “then” – you can have it when you’re tired. I’m OK with that.
We are currently experiencing your very first Tulip Time, and I’m going to raise you to fall in love with this festival. How much fun! We get to dress up and dance in the streets and you’ll get cotton candy and we’ll go on the kiddy rides at the carnival – it’ll be like going on vacation but we’ll be saving almost $2,000 doing it!!!
The other day we were downtown and I had to feed you before I danced, so I went up to where dad works and I used one of their confrence rooms after hours to nurse you. You were happily eating and going to town and then we switched sides (from one boob to the next) – and you were so interested in me that you forgot to keep eating.
You were talking to me, giggling, and every time I tried to get you interested in eating you’d give me an open mouth smile with your dimples and kick your legs around. You are SO cute. I kept on laughing at you because you were being such a ham and the one guy left in the office probably thought you were tickling me, you know … tickling me while you were eating. But you totally weren’t, never have actually. Oh it was great.
Jessica, I love you so much. Those are such little words for the amount of emotion I feel for you. Baby girl, you’re worth every single sacrafice I have made and that I will make for you. You are my breath of heaven.

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