Right of Passage

I spent the better part of the first 3-4 months of life scouring books and magazines, even the Internet on What To Do When …

I think I’ve earned my right of passage now. I no longer am obsessively attached to the books or magazines. I reference the internet now and again, and I always ask questions of other mothers – but I think I finally have it in my head that there is no book out there that’s going to have all the answers. Nor is there an article about sleep deprivation convincing enough to try 8 different methods of scheduling with a 2 month old when consistency is the only key to success wherever sleep is concerned.

So far in this experience of motherhood, parental being, The Woman My Children Will Grow To Think Is INSANE Until They Have Their Own Kids; I’ve been told I’m fairly relaxed. Apparently the pacifier is cause for sudden onset heart attack when it touches a counter that hasn’t been personally scrubbed with the mothers elbow grease. That, for instance, doesn’t phase me.

Neither does the eating of dirt, playing in the mud or falling and scraping an arm, knee or bumping the head. KID is an acronym for “Kinetically Indestructible Devise” – and although airing on the side of caution is always better than not, having a realistic view of the world we live in is also self-medication.

Although I’m relaxed in certain areas I felt pretty uptight in others, trying to figure out when “this” or “that” is suppose to be happening or ‘What does this crying mean’, When should she be taking a nap, for how long and what do I do when she wakes up before that – how do I get her to sleep through the night, and what do I do when she doesn’t. What do all the different colors of poop mean and why did she just start to drool for no apparent reason at 2 months old. STILL NO TEETH, DROOL! C’MON!

But FINALLY, I feel I have a grasp on reality in these instances, too. I think I found balance in my neurosis.

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