There is a constant battle in this house for kisses. We want them. Jessica, however, refuses to give them. There’s a sweet spot in the morning when she might give out A kiss. But other than that – I have to basically force my lips on hers in order to get a kiss.
Even then it’s more like my lips are trying to defend off the evil lords of kicking and shoving and pinching. Pretty much the only expectation I had of being a mother is that I would get occasional cuddle time with my baby. That he or she would say my name when he needed something or just wanted her mommy.
She still has yet to say Mama and actually mean me. She says mama when she’s whining – but that doesn’t mean me, it means … mama mama mama mama. gibberish.
She says Daddy – Hi Daddy! That’s Daddy! Daddy Daddy Daddy!!! And then looks at me and walks away. With no kisses. Or hugs.
Except for those times when we’re whirling in circles in her bedroom and she leans into me – I pretend she’s hugging me, not holding on for dear life.
Just be tender, show me love gosh darn it. Every time I put her down, be it for a nap or bedtime – I play with her hair, touch her cheeks and say – Mama Loves You, Jessica.

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