humdrum this and that

As it would happen, I decide to take a break from thinking about what to write on this site and then all of a sudden I can’t stop thinking about things I should write about.
Like how we’re going to Chicago for the weekend, and HOLY SHIT I can’t wait for this break. Being a mom isn’t hard. It’s boring. You do the same thing Every Single Day. Wake up, feed it, bathe it, clothe it, feed it some more, play with it, take it for a walk, go outside, run some errands or clean the house, give it a nap, clean some more, play on the internet, feed it, bathe it again, play some more, feed it again and put it to sleep – then your day starts – you can do anything … which means you watch TV with your husband or sit on the couch and read while he works on the internet. Or you surf and ebay for things to spend the money on. It’s very easy to spend money being a stay at home mom – some people are bored eaters … I think I would fall into the category of bored spender. There’s nothing else to do – LET’S SHOP!
I’ve gotta tell you – I don’t want to trade these days I have with Jessica for anything. I would rather rip my tow nails off in slow motion than to send her to day care. But I’m about as stimulated as a dieing slug on the side of a garden right now. I bought an algebra work book awhile ago because I love math and wanted to keep my mind sharp. I also wanted something other than mom-duties to do all day. I haven’t gone through the whole book, I took a break … but I’m about to pull it out again. Only this time I don’t just need the book – I need the class. I need something to look forward to every day other than bathing and clothing a tiny energy ball.
I’m not even interesting enough to watch soap-operas. They’re boring too.
Aaron and I have been talking more and more about this because I’m becoming more and more frustrated with myself. Some times I feel like a wasted person just sitting at home. I know I’m doing a great job and I do love being a mom. But I’m still Jodi and I feel like I’m drowning in my mom apron and wife apron that Jodi is becoming more of a memory than a person in this house and it’s driving me insane.
I do think that in 12 years when we have another baby it’ll be better, I’ll have more to do – more to think about. By then I might have figured this all out anyway. How to be a person but still a mom – and even trickier – how to be both at the same time and be fulfilled.
Why doesn’t anyone else talk about this? BEING A MOM IS FRIGGEN BORING PEOPLE. I’ve been doing the same, SAME, thing every day for over a year and half. Even at dead end jobs you at least get to talk to someone. Or you might notice the grass growing outside. Yes we have a pocket full of stories to tell to anyone who will listen at the sound of our childs name. Yes, we get to hear the funny words and see the funny faces. Yes, we get to watch them grow spiritually, emotionally and creatively … we get to do amazing things as moms. But most of the time, it’s just humdrum this and that – boring.
This entire rant could be the outcome of being alone all day – this boredom strikes at it’s worst when Aaron is out of town. Because not only do I have to do the same thing every day, I have to do it alone – with no break, with no cut off time of being alone, with no help. My 12 hour days go from being cut into 4 hour portions to being one long 12 hour day of watching ants take crumbs from my floor to their little huts on the drive way. All. day. long.
Continue commencing break from site.

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