Novice advice

Whats the worst advice you’ve ever been given? I’ve been trying to think up mine for the past few days and although I can think of some pretty awful and very uncomfortable things people have said or suggested to me I can’t think of any one of them that would ring in the WORST EVER.
I did have some pretty wild experiences while pregnant. I took my wedding ring off in my eighth month because of all the water retention – I was the Hoover dam people – and I had women in the grocery store telling me how they were praying for my unborn bastard child.
Uh huh.
I looked them right in the eye and told them, as loudly as possible, how wonderful of them to be praying for a bastard child but to please get their noses out of my 3 foot radius zoned MY BUSINESS and step off. I then continued to, loudly, explain to them how much water retention hurt and holy crap if this child doesn’t stop resting on my special place I might just go crazy and rip it out all by myself. Oh and then I told them, politely, that I would let my husband know some stranger was praying for our child. The child we were giving birth to, in wedlock.
Or I could blame some kind of phsycological damage on my brothers …
When I was about 6 they used to make “crystals” out of super glue in their bedrooms. This was always very top secret. I don’t know why – but I totally bought into it. One day they were showing me their awesome! crystals! and oh wow! did you see the cool crystal!?! I was, as always, enamored by my brothers delights and worshiped their every move. But then they told me not to touch it.
Right. So at 6 when my completely god-worthy brothers show me their top secret crystals and tell me NOT to touch them? what am I supposed to do? listen? Nope. I touched them. I have no idea if they were in on this together or if there was merit to the prank they were pulling but they both freaked out accordingly and started telling me all the horrible things that were going to happen to my finger now.
Like, did I know it was going to fall off after the glue sufficiently burned an outrageous hole through my finger exposing the bone and blood and cool
To their credit my finger started to turn white and I started to cry and wail and fling about. They captured my little flying body and rushed me to the bathroom to run cold water over the wound. There was no hole and I still have my finger but I’ve never touched glue drying ever again.
There’s been a lot of uncomfortable conversations but I don’t know if advice was ever exchanged.
Have you ever had someone direct you to a place in your life whether that’s the port a potty down the road or the job you’ve dream of only to have wished you never asked? Please, please, please do tell!!

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