Thinking ahead

It’s getting a little difficult to sleep at night – uncomfortable wise. There were a few nights last week that I only got 3 hours total and was still able to function during the day, which, believe me, is beyond my comprehension. I’m a bit of a sleep nut. I love sleep.
Other than that though, I’m comfortable most of the time. I some times hate to say this because I know the symptoms of pregnancy for so many women are irritable – I just simply don’t have any. My body loves and agrees with pregnancy. So when you ask me how I’m feeling and I just say – oh I’m good. I really am. Good. I have nothing to say – it’s a hard question to be asked over and over again.
I am getting antsy about the name though. And about putting his room together. I have a list of things to do and everything baby-related is in our attic, which is above our garage – not easily accessible to me and my bump these days. I keep thinking I’ll go to the library to get a book of names to help stir up the conversation but it just never happens. And we do have time, cross our fingers that this guy stays in there til he’s done developing, but I’d just like to think of him as “insert name” and know we’re mostly set there – because it’s always subject to change in the delivery room or once we meet him face to face. Still, a girl in my position wants to be prepared.
This baby has gotten more active lately also and I’m guessing it’s due to a lack of room, or growing lack of room, in my belly. At my last doctors appointment as the doctor was listening for his heartbeat (they put cold gel and a little dopler on my belly) he kicked it away 4 times. I don’t think he appreciated the cold of the gel or the pushing and prodding of the dopler, it was hilarious. Up until that point this baby has pretty much been “quiet” – he kicks all the time but mostly towards my back or my bladder so it’s rare for someone to feel him moving. This is all changing of course.
I remember being pregnant with Jessica – she kicked to be noticed. Hard and often. She was also facing outwards so it was easier – but she was active, o-so-very active under strict constraints for movement and this baby has so far been under the radar. There, for sure he’s there, I feel him, but I don’t notice him if that makes any sense. Most of the time his movement feels like a muscle twitching so although it’s present it’s not present enough to make me stop what I’m doing like I did with Jessica. And I’m having a few Braxton-Hicks contractions now which are just joys. It’s one thing to have the basketball in my stomach it’s another for it to become a boulder of maniac proportions on my back bone.
Should I keep talking? I could go on. We could cover my feelings about labor this time around, now that I know what. is. going. to. happen. Are. You. Kidding. Me?
I’m a little more reserved about wanting this baby out because I know, oh do I know, what’s going to happen. I’m not against the drugs- not at all. I was so against them with Jessica that it became all I thought about when I was in pain – how I WAS NOT GOING TO TAKE MEDICINE, that resulted in my taking the medicine and being blissfully happy throughout the experience that was her birth. I loved, loved, loved my birth experience with Jessica – with drugs. It was glorious, spiritual and moving and I was able to breath. Thank you baby Lord Jesus. Also? Aaron begged me to be open to the medicine, not to be a martyr or super mom from the get-go … he couldn’t handle seeing me in pain and he hated that he could do nothing about it.
I am so open to medicine this time around. It costs $175 for an epidural – money well spent, people. I’m not saying that I’m going in the hospital and hooking up to the IV – no, I’m just willing to have options, to be open minded and patient.
I am super excited about doing most of my labor at home (depending on time of day, Jessica’s location and pain level) in our bath tub. Or in the shower, or in both or all three at various different stages. If a shower is what I want, we’ve got two. If a bath? No problem – lets fill ‘er up! I can do walking (it’ll be spring) or sitting, laying, whatever feels right. I don’t feel panicked into the unknown of rushing to the hospital. Of course I’m praying that my sister’s ability to pop kids out some how manifested itself in me over the last 3 years. Her first child? I think under 3 hours and her second? She hardly made it into the delivery room. AND THEN SHE WENT HOME EARLY … because she was bored. Are you kidding me? She’s a rock star. The hospital is like a hotel to me – I’m going to stay until they kick me out, man. Check out is 1 pm? I’ll be ready at 12:58.
Can you tell I’m alone? Aaron took Jessica sledding so I have all this time to put my thoughts to ink (or blog – whatever). And now I think I’m done. Sorry if this was all over the place or boring. It was fun for me šŸ™‚

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