Here’s the follow up to that one time I when I wrote all about my frustrations with some current life situations. Oh, right. That one.
Things at work have slowed down quite a bit and we actually get to see Aaron over a plate of food more than once in a month. Sometimes even 5 times in a whole week. Which means, we’re all extremely high on jubilation most of the time.
I’ve gotten some questions about how I feel putting all of that out there, on the internet. “All of that” is a euphemism for our dirty laundry, I’m guessing, because HEY! I wrote about how hard marriage is some times!! WHO KNEW THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED?!?!
Truth is, I would not have written a darn thing if Aaron and I weren’t on the same page. If I was unwilling to see things from his point of view or he was unwilling to see things from my perspective, we’d be having this conversation with a well-paid third party to help us get through this time in our lives, and we might do that any way. See someone. A counselor. For marriage. Did you get that? Read it again. WE MIGHT GO TO MARRIAGE COUNSELING.
I’m not writing this as a slap in the face to anyone or a “hey, get out of my business” type of thing, but I’ve had actual conversations with people who read this site and think that more people should be talking about things like this. Like marriage. Or at least, not trying to hide an issue if there is one – or speaking out about seeking help when you obviously can’t handle the weight of the situation alone anymore. So thats what I’m doing. I’m being honest. Why can’t we all just be honest?
Back to where I was – things are vastly improving as the days go on. We had some really tough conversations for a few weeks about how we were going to get passed this time, how we could picture ourselves on the other side of this great big cavern and we talked about talking to someone (counselor) which we’ve done in the past and have loved every bit of it.
Part of me wants to explain that, that we’ve been in marriage counseling before and why. I don’t want you to think I’m in a troubled marriage or we’re on the brink of a break up or have been. None of thats true, but I come from a broken marriage and I in no way have any kind of fantasy about what a happily ever after is supposed to be. I meant my vows when I said them but I also realize that I’m human, Aaron’s human and we live in a world with a bunch of humans. We’re not angelic beings just because we put rings on each others fingers, or because we wanted our marriage grounded in Christ.
I invest in my marriage through conversations, even counseling, and time and honesty because I love my family. I love Aaron. Sure, we have kids and they’re amazing but I’m not one of those people who thinks the children come first – as soon as the kids come first that means my marriage is on the back burner and that means that in due time, it’ll creep up somewhere, that I’ll have to all of a sudden focus on my marriage again and I’ll be lost, lonely and wondering what I did wrong.
Bla bla bla. Bla. More talking. Yay! bla bla.
Point is. Thank you for caring and taking the time to ask me in whatever form you did how I was doing. How we’re doing. Truth is we’re doing better. Things are good, we have some balance and a bit of a schedule to rely on these days. We’re feeling stable and happy and loved.