Helllooooooo out there!
So you know how sometimes you go through these big self changes and then inevitably something else has to give? You need time or a spot or a place that isn’t glaring your inner thoughts to the person right next to you. You need space. In your head, in your heart – your home. You need to be alone, to think and ponder. To question and then to answer.
Thats where I went for a while – inside. Inside myself. Most of the time I have absolutely no problem whatsoever putting everything on here and letting it go to the ends of the world if it so chooses. Or is someone googles what it costs to have a baby and they get my tirade of a rant instead. Either way … it ebbs and flows – my feelings about an online story in which I am the main character and my life is the plot.
I’ve pretty much decided that I just don’t know. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, I cannot predict that my plan will work or is working. I can only improve the parts of me that need improving – and that, my friends, I am doing with the most valuable people in my real life. My family. My husband. My kids. That is no longer part of this. Not right now.
So any way. How the heck are ya? I got myself a new hair cut and am feeling wonderful due to the blood sugar issues being tackled – and they are being tackled. Things are improving on a daily basis.
We also became a family who hikes together – which is lovely number 92 on my life list, photos coming one of these days.
After watching the food network for a bit Jessica has decided to become a chef in our home on a daily basis. The latest concoction was juice!!! She served it to us via wine glasses, she’s all about the sophistication. And, you guys, oh-my-golly there are days when I want to strangle the attitude out of this one, but seriously – she is the joy of my life. We rub each other like sand paper some days and it’s tiring and defeating, but at the end of every day she’s laying in her bed while we read Shell Silverstien poetry and she giggles at all the right words, laughs at the end of the silliest poems and then hugs me good night. DOES. NOT. GET. BETTER. THAN. THAT.
On the flip side of children – Oliver isn’t talking very much although he has discovered the wonderful world of voicing his opinion via the very popular word “No.” And he is as stubborn as they come, which we can gingerly thank me for. He is stubborn the way I am stubborn, and I admit this readily … it’s the worst kind. And it’s kind of ugly. Doesn’t matter that the kid is hungry, if it’s our suggestion that he can have GOLDFISH!!! he’ll very much look at you like you’ve grown growling dogs out of your ears and screech NO!! while he whips his head, or entire body, in the other direction entirely.
The differences between the girl and boy in our house could not be more pronounced. She’s got a fire under her butt and has attitude, but listens and reasons very well. VERY well. He’s got tar in his pants (that’s how stubborn he is) and is full of righteous indignation, does a fairly good job of listening, follows directions and has no reasoning skills WHATSOEVER. He is emotional to the tilt, there’s no “We don’t bite because it hurts” there’s always “We don’t bite…” and then lots of really big tears and LOUD noises. He’s devastated by our lack of admiration for his prowess as a young cheetah hunter in his jungle of a world.
However!! I am making damn sure that he loves me no matter what because now that I have a son, I have every kind of sympathy I lacked when I first got married to a first born – a first born son. Um!! Mother In Law, I love you and I love how much you love your son, who is now my husband and oh my goodness – the job you did at raising him, WAS SPECTACULAR. I hope I have a son half as amazing as the husband I have, although … (and we’re working on this) HE WILL HUG ME MORE, or his future wife will have me in a crumple hot mess at her doorstep begging for her to tell him I need to be hugged.
I’ve missed you.