Dead End


I went looking for one of these while we were in Oklahoma. You see, my (step) dad had a special kind of radar for finding Dead Ends and then going beyond them just to see what else lie ahead.

Some times I don’t know what I’m looking for so I stop looking and just keep going. Since we’ve been home I try to steal as much time alone and away as possible – all I do is drive up and down the roads of our lakeshore just saturating myself in loud music. Turning “it” off and auto-piloting towards … something.

Gosh I miss my step dad. I keep looking for him in the small things. Smiles of other people – any older guy with glasses.

My (step)dad and I at the cottage

I just want a hug. A dance. I want him to tell me what happens next. Hard spots in life are hard to steer through when it feels like my guiding lights don’t shine any more.

My dad and I

So I went looking for him in Oklahoma and he showed up.

Just like that.

He was my number one fan and some times I feel so alone without him cheering on my sidelines.

Number ONE!

3 thoughts on “Dead End

  1. You made me tear up there, Jodi. I miss my dad, too. So much, all the time, and for every reason under the sun. He was my “go-to” guy, my sounding board and the person I most admired in the world. Funny that there is comfort in that deep sadness – as long as it is there I have something to hold onto, you know? My fear is that someday it won’t hurt so bad, and that will mean that I have really lost him. So I’ll take the tears, and relish every single one.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *