I went looking for one of these while we were in Oklahoma. You see, my (step) dad had a special kind of radar for finding Dead Ends and then going beyond them just to see what else lie ahead.
Some times I don’t know what I’m looking for so I stop looking and just keep going. Since we’ve been home I try to steal as much time alone and away as possible – all I do is drive up and down the roads of our lakeshore just saturating myself in loud music. Turning “it” off and auto-piloting towards … something.
Gosh I miss my step dad. I keep looking for him in the small things. Smiles of other people – any older guy with glasses.
I just want a hug. A dance. I want him to tell me what happens next. Hard spots in life are hard to steer through when it feels like my guiding lights don’t shine any more.
So I went looking for him in Oklahoma and he showed up.
Just like that.
He was my number one fan and some times I feel so alone without him cheering on my sidelines.
3 thoughts on “Dead End”
You made me tear up there, Jodi. I miss my dad, too. So much, all the time, and for every reason under the sun. He was my “go-to” guy, my sounding board and the person I most admired in the world. Funny that there is comfort in that deep sadness – as long as it is there I have something to hold onto, you know? My fear is that someday it won’t hurt so bad, and that will mean that I have really lost him. So I’ll take the tears, and relish every single one.
Bah!! Now you’re making me cry. And I completely understand.
Love seeing pictures of Wayne 🙂 Makes me think of my Mom. Miss her…