Confessional:

It’s almost 10 pm Sunday as I write this and both of my children are still awake – though exhausted from a day outside. They’re fighting the slumber bug like it’s their full time job, only they have no idea that it’s MY full time job and they’re requiring overtime. And people wonder why I like wine. I’m only half heartedly kidding there. You can decide about which part.

Went to a wedding this weekend for one of the awesome guys that has worked with Aaron. He married the youngest daughter of the guy who married us almost 8 years ago. The bride’s oldest brother was Aaron’s best man in our own wedding and I went to school with their sister. Was that enough dots for you to connect? So pretty much we’re relatives who almost never see each other these days but it’s a bag full of confetti when we do. They’re an awesome bunch.

At this wedding: on the dance floor: I found out there are probably a lot of things people think about me that I just don’t even know about. Like did I ever make-out by the garbage cans at school? Because every one thought I did. Shall we burst your bubble? Have you all been wondering this exact same thing??!! Friend I’m here to tell you!! Nope. Didn’t ever make out at school. But I did date that one kid who ended up being gay – which is totally fine with me and completely explains his incredibly soft lips. Lucky guy out there, somewhere.

I also learned that I didn’t miss much by leaving high-school early. The class I was on schedule to graduate with will celebrate their 10 year reunion next year only THIS year is my ten year reunion of … Homeschooling Graduation! Which is creepy because this is also the year that my daughter is done with kindergarten … and somehow I got younger while she’s getting older. This is a thing, no? That happens?

Speaking of getting younger – I got catcalled tonight at a park. Where my children were playing near me. This doesn’t happen to me. I don’t get catcalled. So it took me off guard because – do you see these kids?I’m not babysitting. Odd feeling to have gone years without getting “looker” attention (having a shiny ring usually deflects that) to, of all places, get it at a park with my kids and husband. Part of me liked it, ok?! The other part? Is just grossed out.

Somewhere along the line I lost my mojo for dancing moves. I’m so 1995. A wedding reception will remind you of this and then also? Not teach you a darn new thing. But the electric slide? Totally got that. Apparently listening to Dora CDs and Disney movie soundtracks doesn’t produce the kind of atmosphere for keeping up on a dance prowess.

We’ve entered the phase of life with a daughter where her breathing is disguised as rapid talking. She believes the moment she stops talking she will also stop breathing thus explains the dawn to dusk narration of our entire life what-are-we-doing-right-this-instance-oh-my-god-I-had-no-idea-we-were-putting-our-shoes-on-and-using-our-feet-to-walk-down-the-stairs-isn’t-that-the-coolest-thing-EVER?!!?!! My ears are bleeding.

And in conclusion, a few things that living with a 3 year old boy has taught me:

When explaining something you need to be specific. Neglecting to include instructions such as; your pockets, underwear, armpits, ears, hair and nose (SPECIFICALLY) are not the best places to keep sand, rocks, sticks, rubber balls or your fishing net.

No, you may not stir my water with the stick you just killed an ant with. What’s that you say? You’re “making” something? Soap is not an ingredient. But thanks for the thought.

Cleaning the table with a wet cloth means he’ll pour your britta pitcher of water all over the table then mop it up with 3 of your clean, folded bathroom towels. What was he cleaning? His mashed up playdough, which also does not belong in his ears, nose, hair, pockets, armpits or underwear. Specifically not his underwear. And ears. And now, my towels.

In fact, nothing belongs in his underwear. That’s a daily reminder. First thing usually. And often repeated with conviction as the day goes on.

He’s a book waiting to be written.

And for making it this far without a photo to break up my crazy train of thought … A free download for y’all.

xoxo