Crows feet

As in plaster application to a ceiling. Not so much a fan, and no, of course this has nothing to do with my having to lay on my back staring at it for 2 days.

Operation: Stop Itching

This post is all about me telling you how I hurt myself. Sounds like a total blast, I know. I also go in to detail about the crazy that is Chiropractic’s and how much I love the practice. That part’s interesting.

Yesterday I hit my head, then tried to lift something heavier than normal and then stopped being able to sit, stand or bend without pain. I was already making a list of the things that I wanted my Chiropractor to look at during my next visit: my elbow, my right leg, my hips and gosh – my hands and legs sure get numb fast lately.

Add to this – the paralyzing lower back pain.

If you’ve ever been to a Chiropractor you’ll know that when you hit your head they usually start to play with your feet. Your stomach hurts? CHECK THE FEET! Your elbow? How about your knee. Your back? Check your jaw bone, then your neck.

I had almost everything wrong with me today and as a bonus, I couldn’t move. Instead of crying through the entire visit I tried to do a lot of light hearted laughing or some odd version of a lucid person being lucid.

Folks, it hurt so bad. SO EFFING BAD.

There’s a whole lot of “Does it hurt here? Here? How about here?” when you’re at the Chiropractor and almost every time that was asked of me I winced, made my squishy face and cried “yea” through deep breathing.

Usually when I go in there’s one or two things we focus on, most often my blood sugar and how we’re doing on balancing that with diet, exercise and everything else. Today he started at my head and went all the way to my feet.

I need new shoes. Going to the gym almost daily (not lately!) and walking/running/jogging in bad shoes on a solid, non-cushy surface? Whacks the shit out of my spine. Also my hips.

The way I sleep? Breaks my alignment through my shoulders … every. single. night.

The coffee I drink? The beer I had this weekend? It destroys my gut’s (something that should be healthy) ecosystem. Which then plays tricks on my neck, the elbow, my legs … and my spine.

I was a carnival this morning and his advice to me after bending my limbs in unnatural trajectories to correct my bad behavior? Ice pack my gut 20 min on/20 min off all day today.

Ps: your gut is right below your pant line – on the hipbone-ish. That fun little cavity that gets sexy when defined by a 6-pack? Your gut. (Intestines, etc: obviously – it lives up to it’s sexy nature, duh)

Do we own an ice pack? You betcha! No, no we don’t.

We do however have about 5 different varieties of chocolate chips in the freezer right now and I’m pretty sure that someone once told me there were healing powers to chocolate.

So we’re covered, right?

Picnik collage

I’ll let you know tomorrow.

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