Off the hook

I’m letting myself off the hook. After a date night where we discussed ad nauseum, again, the things on my mind and the tears that won’t stop and the identity I can’t seem to shake … Aaron asked me to let myself off the hook.

I’m not discounting the places I’ve been or where I’m sure to go. I’m not going to force this.

Sometimes I just want to hide. Even our debt free story, while it was fun and the whole energy of the moment on Dave Ramsey was something I’ll never forget, I just want to stop being something everyone knows about. You know?

I just want a break from being this vulnerable, this open. And so does Aaron.

Our lives are mostly lived out-loud and online. We make no apologies for being outspoken or in the front and we both enjoy the outcome of being so open. Until we don’t anymore. And we just want to do our work and be part of the fabric of the world we live in.

So I’m letting myself off the hook and reassuring myself that in all things I’m going through right now – I can rest in the knowledge that I’m doing the best I can (or that I did the best I could) and I’m going to keep working through it (Hi therapy!) but I’m also going to consciously move forward.

Do you need to tell yourself the same thing? That you made the best decision at the time or to let yourself off the hook? Let’s. I’ll go first.

7 thoughts on “Off the hook

  1. I only want to read and write what is real. I know that even if you aren’t wide open, you’ll write what is real. So that’s not an answer, but maybe it is?

  2. please Jodi….ALLOW/LET yourself OFF the hook! It took me over 35 years to let myself off the hook and life has a deeper richness to it and a deeper simplicity …all at the same time! I still have moments when I wonder, when I crumble, when my soul weeps, but those moments are becoming more contained and more in context.
    Now I find myself weeping more frequently with sorrow for all the years lost while I tried to make things better, for the years I only served everyone else who in the end were sucking the life out of me!
    I have also found that letting oneself off the hook is an extremely deliberate, calculated and purposeful action. It does not just happen because you want it to happen. You need to make it happen.
    Hang in there, honey! You are of much value and SO worth it. You are a miracle and gift to me…and to many many others….do not lose sight of that! xoxo

  3. Have you looked at a fish hook recently? It has this edge on it that makes it hard/painful to get off the hook … but imagine the feeling a fish has where it has been hooked, taken out of the water, and cannot “breathe,” has to then be ripped off the hook, thrown back into the water, and finally realizes that it’s free and can swim away. Being “on the hook” as a person gets to a point where you cannot breathe … getting “off the hook” is often even more pain-filled than getting on it in the first place … but the feeling of ending back where you can breathe again and realizing you can SWIM! FREELY! … yep, that’s what I long for.

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