New balance to life these days, huh? I woke up crabby this morning and I don’t know why. I’m dreaming more vividly lately and I do know why. Bright colors, lots of detail – a story, a moving picture in my mind all night long.
I’m scribbling little poems all over scrap pieces of paper and forgotten grocery lists and I’m working. I come home for lunch most days and I love this place. This time in life.
I have choices with my time. I want to work so I do but I’m efficient with my time because if I’m working I’m saying no to something else that matters to me and when I’m with my family I’m saying no to opportunities I could be using.
My time has always mattered, this I’ve learned, but it hasn’t always felt heavy, like weights I can exercise, like muscles growing and my mind learning.
There’s a phrase I keep hearing “I eat to live, I don’t live to eat.” and this phrase has always confused me, because … aren’t they both equal? You eat to live: yes. But don’t you also live to eat? I do.
I eat all day long, food with my eyes as I look around and take it in. I drink with my senses, smelling the spring air. I devour the feel of sand beneath my toes. I taste all the textures of the world around me and I even get to play with it. I get to cook and bake and feed people. I live to feed people with my heart.
I just had no idea I could do it so many different ways.