I am so tired of caring about everything. Of having an opinion about every single headline. Of having to have arguments at the ready, or at the very least, responses. To misdirect, self reflect or just avoid. I am so tired of this shit. I am so tired.
And that doesn’t make it easier, or over, or ok to stop moving forward. I’m just weary. I am so weary of the world we keep inventing for ourselves. Where our righteousness is more aligned with our self-inflicted comfort zones than any actual gospel. And the Gospel doesn’t even have to be mine, it can be yours. His, hers, theirs. Just, other than this.
What are we doing? What the fuck are we doing? I don’t want to keep writing this but I can’t stop coming back to it. Start in your home, at your table. Talk to your neighbors, like, very literally go outside and talk to someone who lives next to you. Say hi. Hello! Look into their eyes, know their children’s names, pet their dog. Remember their address, anniversary, retirement, grandchildren, birthday, sadness, celebration. Remember anything about them. They’re the house with the broken fence? Fix it.
Care. Give a goddamn about someone else. Get outside, see some trees. Stand on the ground. Dirt, grass, mud. Get your naked feet on top of the earth any way possible. Breathe. Look up. Please, look up. UP! See the trees in the breeze, watch out the window when you’re a passenger. When someone talks, pay attention. Is there music out your window? Enjoy it. Is it different than you would normally play for yourself … go see why. Go to the block parties, go to the performances, go to the places where people who are not you in the mirror or a reflection of you on a screen are living on purpose. Go. See. Be there. Breathe there, too. Be you, be curious. Ask questions, cook together. Get involved.
We are better than every news anchor is making us out to be, we just are. We are. We can do hard things. We can learn and unlearn and we can change our minds and expand our possibilities. We can grow. We can. I know we can.
Because I have.
I’ve been in the places where people point and snicker, whisper behind our backs. Love us in the moment and then immediately cast us as other when we’re gone. I have been in those places, I am those stories. I am those women. I am your sister, daughter, friend. I remember my before.
I was right, then, too.
We can do hard things. We can do this. Shut your mouth and open your heart.