This morning I was wondering about my belly button. I mean, since that’s where I was connected to the umbilical cord and everyone else too, how does it work on the inside now that I’m not attached anymore?

Aaron and I got to talking about it and we got to the point of discussing the possibilities about the cutting of the cord and what not. Aaron fervently pointed out to me that he’s always been told that you cut the cord, and then proceed to tie it off. And, according to Aaron, you tie it off according to inny or outy – which ever you prefer. AND THEN (I know, there’s more) because it can’t possibly heal itself all nice and cute like it turns out Aaron also thinks the doctor then ties the belly button closed (you know how it looks like a knot … he thinks the doctor does that).

So lets paint this picture for you. Aaron has just finished cutting the cord, if he hasn’t fainted already, and then looks at me with all seriousness and asks, inny or outy, Jode? What should we do?

So this morning I’m trying not to laugh because he’s SO serious about this but I’ve been around babies since I, myself, was one and I happen to know the process of the umbilical cord very well. I have 4 nieces/nephews and I started babysitting at age 11. Not to mention any of my 36 cousins just on my moms side. I’ve seen a few umbilical cords in my day.

You cut the cord and then the doctor CLAMPS it, and that’s all. You leave it there for it to do its thing. It heals and it FALLS OFF by ITSELF. (Imagine Aaron horrified at this point, how could I think it falls off???) And when it falls off, it’s a button. It decides inny or outy and it closes itself.

We got to the point of Aaron looking up the facts online … because pregnant woman with baby experience knows nothing and Internet knows all. I let Aaron find the info; to which confirmed my claims and it took everything in his body to say I was right. We even called my mom – and she’s going to die laughing at the message we left, but then she also remembers Aaron from pre pregnant wife, pre wife and just dating her daughter. She’s heard a few off the wall things before.

Uh-oh. As I type Aaron found more than information on umbilical cords on this one site – he’s watching a movie about labor and delivery. The same movie that was EMAILED to me moments after I was pregnant and I proceeded to watch it – completely unaware of what was coming next. They forget to make the disclaimer in very large and bold print stating that you’re actually going to see labor and delivery. Real people, babies and big labor words.

He’s asking me if I still want to do it naturally. Because seriously, they’re using words like transition labor, emotions and anticipation.

And there it is, the actual birth … Aaron doesn’t know what to do with himself. But wait, THERES MORE – they even show the delivery of the placenta. And his final words were (after contorting the face a million different ways) Quote “I would be like DOPE ME UP, get that shit in me.” End quote.