dreaming

I keep having dreams about my water breaking – which is a little inconvenient seeing as how I’m getting up 3-4 times a night to pee. One of these nights I’m going to think my water has broken when really all I did was embarrassingly wet the bed. Nice.
My water didn’t break on it’s own with Jessica – it was broken for me a good 12 hours before she was born. Joyful. Not the breaking part – the hours part. She was a long labor. I’m getting ready for all of that again and I’m a little excited about it. More about what the end result will entail – a baby – not really for the whole transitional labor thing or ‘pushing a human out of my body’ part – that … well, that hurts a lot.
But I do feel more prepared for it this time around – now that I know what might happen, seeing as how every birth is different, I’ll at least know what to expect in the grand scheme of things and I feel like that information is on my side this time around.
I was reading about labor and delivery last night when Aaron asks me – you’re getting an epidural right? I mean, you’re just getting one … right? The poor guy – cannot stand it when I’m in pain and he can’t fix it. Kind of adorable, actually. Ok – really adorable and totally sexy in my book. Which means he loves the hell out of me and I return the favor without question … but no – I’m not walking into the hospital asking for an epidural – if the pain gets too much to handle, you bet I’ll ask for help but I’m not saying one way or the other is HOW IT’S GOING TO BE. That was my crutch with Jessica’s birth, I was so against it that it was all I thought about.
Not this time … I’m giving myself options and permission to be exactly who I am in that delivery room – a laboring mother. One who may or may not need help in any number of ways.
And as long as Aaron has had a good meal a few hours before all of this begins – he’ll be alright. If we go to the hospital and he hasn’t eaten, we’re almost guaranteed to see him meet the floor face first at some point.

Nesting 101

Wow. I don’t remember nesting like this with Jessica but I was also working at the time and we had just moved into this house – so maybe unpacking was disguised as nesting for me.
I’m about to sign up for a Craft Fair and sell baked goods. People. I don’t think you realize how much I love this or how surprising this is for me. Pregnant, bare foot as I type this, nesting like crazy and planning a bake sale. I am the quintessential 40’s house wife and I LOVE IT.
I’ve never felt more empowered as a woman. I’ve never felt more like a woman in my own skin. There are woman who need success to feel this and I get that, but seriously … don’t try to change my mind because you’re not happy.
Pretty soon I’m going to be making aprons because they’re fashionable in my home. Watch out. OOOH – thats an awesome idea for the bake sale!
Here I go.

It all began …

A few of the more embarrassing pregnancy side effects have finally taken effect in my life. Oh remember when all things embarrassing happened to me?
Yes, well – the hiatus is over. Granted this isn’t very embarrassing because it happened while I was home, but I’m compelled to write about it on the world wide web, so – you know, I’m a gluten.
Simply put the leakage from what will be the soul source of nourishment for my son has finally begun. I now have to be careful what I wear and probably start purchasing the nursing pads in bulk. Here it comes.
Now that I’m writing about it, I’m letting down all over again. Oh boy, this is going to be a messy 14 weeks.